time check: 0218hours

Just came back from Cosy bay with Ivy, Linda and Christine. Just another usual "suaning" session for me, linda and christine.
Well, before that... I was with darz at MM celebrating Ah Min's early birthdae.

This is the first time where i nearly cried when I'm leaving. I've never felt the way i felt back there when I'm leaving for the gathering.... I nearly just cried.. tears welling up and stuff. And I simply can't bear to let go of darz. I simply miss her right then and there. I just dun wanna let go of her.

Sigh.

Now I'm having a headache *as usual*... maybe this time was because of the three mugs of beer I took... and the endless smoke I inhaled. Well, now linda also know who justine really is ler. Haha, thought she'll flip, but she's acting quite normal... coz she said she expected it... coz that time I kinda ask her to reply my dad and when she exited the mesage, she saw Fly, Dear in my inbox. Guess she's speculating it all along. Just dun wanna ask only.

- I'm missing my sweetie so badly now -

haha, anyways, saw the fat chris.. she changed her hairstlye.. hahaha. wadeva. she doesnt matter anyways.

Wonder what happened to all the links... no pictures one.. And mama mentioned about my shout out not being there.. well, it's still there though.

Just came back from darlin's house. Time check: 0139hours.

Have anyone ever wondered how someone could actually come into your life and change it all... changed it to the better. Make you feel loved.. make you feel wanted... Just by being there? These miracles happens.. and it happened to me. Darlin came into my life... changed my dark gloomy life.. into a garden full of flowers, and a sky bright with the sun. I could still remember the times when my life was like a pile of shit, did so many wrong things... took so many wrong turns and made everyone unhappy. If darlin didnt come into my life. I think I might still be living in that dark world of mine... thinking of the shitty things that I have done.. and dwell on it and make myself go mad. But she said.. it's in the past, no point thinking about it ler. * I guess many of my relatives had said that to me already* but her's had the biggest impact. I've decided to throw all my negative thoughts aways, learn from it and live my life to the fullest.

I was having a very troubling time when I was with tenz. Everybody knew I guess... That all the tears I've cried for tenz could *quoted from Andrea* last enough for how many sad movies and even my grandchildren's graduations. At that time, I was still trying to save the toopid r/s with tenz coz I couldnt let go. But darlin said it... one sentence changed it all. " I don't want to see you so miserable everynight" That changed it all. Why must I make myself so miserable over someone who doesnt even give a fucking damn about how I felt. I broke up with Tenz the very next dae.

I guess Darlin brought about a great change in my life somehow, that maybe other people can't understand. But she did. And no werds can express how I felt for her right now. I want her to be happy always. And I hope I did bring happiness to her life . Ours is a good start.. and there wont even be an ending to it. The tale of the love tween Moskitto and Fly would go on and on, with no endings to it.

- I love you sweetie -

today.. been rather sianz..

firstly...

no able to see dear

secondly...

so damn much patients. idiotic patients.

I wanna kill the dentist.. the joker dentist... so the slogans will go "no idiotic dentist... no idiotic patients"

I can't believe my cousin did this to me...
She made a fool out of me...

silvercoin: oh, how you know so kapo, also know got michelle in his dept!
is he married? did you ask>
heh, who said, i am going to have a daughter soon (next year Apr)

~Schizo~ : you're pregnant ler!!!!??????
gong xi gong xi!!!

-thenz... after talking fer quite a while.... she started -

silvercoin: Aiya, ur mummie sleep already? she must be very tired and stress. hor?
ummh, don't know next time esther and lucy will bully me like you bully your mum ha ha.

- That was a damn sarcastic remark. I have to admit that I wasnt a good person last time.... -

silvercoin: Good la, she also no call me, hee hee :)
Oi, can u still remember my birthday?

~Schizo~ : 1st april

silvercoin: that day is also april fool you know

~schizo~: i know ah.. why?

silvercoin: hee hee hee, there is no lucy and esther...is just a wish, i promise if i pregnant...i will tell you! hee hee

-stupid-

silvercoin: u also mix around with your tomboy friends?

-i feel like telling her :"so what?" -

silvercoin: still don want to sleep? me sleeping now
u must be chatting with God knows who?


- "yah yah.. i'm chatting with my LESBIAN friends!" -

why is she like that?

I'm a freezer!!!!

How Emotional Are You?
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time check: 0659hours.

Played Counter Strike through the night with my bro. From 1plus til now. Just had breakfast and iced milk tea. So shiock. Feel like sleeping.. but can't... coz you're not s'posed to sleep after you eat. Will grow fat de!!!
Sleepy sleepy sleepy...

:P

Just came back from werk. Damn backache!

And my mum went:" Wah.. today so good girl ah.. come home so early.. that's more like it" -pengz-
Then hor, she ask me... whether her contract fer M1 expire already or not. Then tell me M1 got promo fer 6510.. two fer $299... then trade in minus $100. Then I ask her why....

She said.. my dad wanted to get that phone for Kelvin fer Christmas... Wah lauz.... "Zhong Nan Qing Nu!!!!" MCP!!! Wadeva. So "tao yan" him. Then I told my mum... dun buy.. coz always hang (IT'S THE TRUTH ANYWAYS) Yar..

Dar should be sleeping now.. waking up real soon I blif... Sleepy ler.. But dun feel like sleeping yet. :P
Now learning a new song... Cantonese one. So hard to learn one.
http://www.boxup.com/GB/music/lyric/lyric21199.htm

Just came back from Tampines...
Had brunch with Cookie and Andrea at Tampines Mall Food Court...

So damn sleepy now... But meeting dear later at 1845hrs at Cityhall....

Okay... what happened yesdae?

Stayed over at the chalet last night. My mum told me:" No more next time, last time okay!" Wah... For god's sake!!! I'm already roaming the Earth for 2 decades already lor.... Wah lauz.

Went dowm met cookie and andrea at round 5pm at Pasir Ris MRT... Went over to Jo's chalet.... only 3 person there... Jo, Jovie, and Stefanie... Well, I was like... wah 3 person only ah...

Heehee.

Anyways, we played Heart Attack.. and I believe after that I realise I was extremely slow in my reaction. Always kenna slap one loh.. always my left hand... haha. Anyways... after that the hyperness kinad died down... and I called dar up after her werk... so also dunno what's going on inside. Anyways, by the time I put down the phone with dar... they are already watching "Zhen Qing".. so sat down and watch also. Round 8 plus.. went down back to my house to get the money fer the grading card thing. My sir said he lost the records... Dunno where he put. Stupid.

Darlin' was very sweet yesdae... Came all the way down to have dinner/supper with us... After her twaining loh... like she so tired ler.. still came down and meet me eat kinda thing. And in the end... she accompanied me back to Pasir Ris... Stayed till 1.15am I think before she went back and coma/concuss. :)

Went back to the room, heard from Jo that ting and andrea went to "chi fan".. I was like...:"They so hungry ah???" Who knows saw them at Cheers when I went over to get some munchies. Then we sat around till 2 plus.... came back to the room... chit chat until morning. Drank quite alot of beer... so kinda was very very tired until I report in sick at werk. hahaha... Bedek bedek abit. Damn shagged. Was a good night nontheless . Me, Jo, Cookie and andrea talked through the night till bout 6 plus nearly 7am then they go sleep. finally had a good talk with Jo...

Anyways, called dear up on her way to werk... chatted for 46minutes before her company transport came. So put down the phone. Went to sleep.... concuss until 1015hours.. when we're s'posed to wake up at 9. Haha.

Yar... so after that left...

We sang in the bus on the way to tampines. I think the guy in front must be like "Finally they alighted" when we got off. Hahahaha. We're really singing loudly lor. Heehee.

Yar.. so ate, left, home....

Wanna pengz liaoz... K.O! "No no.. must stay awake..."

Going to Joven's chalet with ting and andrea at 4pm. Currently wanted to go bathe.. but ended up in front of my screen typing away.

Darz just called me... The first thing I heard when I woke up is her voice. So nice.. hahaha. To start my dae hearing the voice of someone i love soooooo much. Abit dunno what to do over at the Chalet.. so far... so alone... sob sob.

I miss you darz!

Something I wrote, specially fer my sweetie,

Love is what you have given me since the dae I met you.
You took my pain away,
And showed me the light beyond the gray clouds...

Who but you could take my hand,
And lead me to such joy and love...
nobody but you could do these things,
I would never love another,
The way I love you...

And If you are a teardrop,
For fear of losing you,
I would not cry...

If the sun cease to shine,
A smile from you,
Would make the world world bright again...

The Oceans may dry,
The Skies may loose its blue,
But there's one thing that will never change,
And that is my undying love for you.
Flowers may wither,
People may die,
But one thing that will never end,
Is that I will not cease to care...

And How do I love you,
I love you to the depth, height, length and width...
I love you with smiles, tears and life.
I love you with passion as hot as the sun...
So how would you love me?

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!

Right...
what happened today....?
Damn...
STM....

Right...
Got a wake up call from "mother" at round 930hours.. in the end.. slept til 1030hours.. got to werk round 1130hours.
Darz also smsed me to wake me up around 1030hours. haha.. But I'm already up...

Today werk damn sleepy.... coz no patients... whole affnoon only got 2 patients. I fell asleep halfway through my reading... And woke up to a "ding dong" that sounded from the counter... *Patientsssss* Finally... woke up sleepy-eyed. hahaha. Wadeva. It's so boring.

Met Darz fer a movie at marina. [Possession]. Haha.. I pigged out today. Bought nachos and popcorns to eat inside... too hungry ler.. hahahaha. aff that me and darz still went mac munch munch on the nuggets. haha.

Miss Darz sooooo much now.. aint gonna see her tomorrow... coz of the chalet and she got her hockey twaining. plus i needa go get the dumb grading card from my ex-sir.

Byan Adams's Everything I do is playing... so nice this song.... I also downloaded another song of his.. called "heaven" seems like a great song... coz got techno one by DJ Sammi.

Sigh....

Tired...
Zzzzz....

I love you no matter what you do. I love spending time with you. I love you just being there. This is the way I've always felt. I dun care what others seem to say cos I just love you the way you are.....Tell me you're cold,I will wrap my arms around you like a blanket.Tell me you can't see,My eyes will be your eyes.Tell me you can't feel,My fingers will be yours to feel with.Tell me your heart can't feel,I will give you my heart so you can feel.If ever something hurts you,I shall shed a tear.When you're happy,I shall smile with you. No matter what, just want to let u know..i'm always there for u...

Written in http://www.fridae.com/profiles/?fly19

At least I know that that's writen for me.. and not somebody else. :D

http://www.boxup.com/big5/music/lyric/lyric16578.htm

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Love My Friends. Dedicated a song to them last night and was read out by Carrie! Yiippeee!!!! So cool. Hahah. budden dun think they heard.. coz some eating.. some sleeping... so still clubbing... hahahaha

yah.. at home again with nothing to do... sianz... this whole week only werk two days... wah lau... $$ going down... :P
i very poor one leh... KNS.

Damn having hard time trying to eat with braces. Tooth hurting like hell, can't even chew my noodles properly... I guess this 3 years treatment ( ithink 3 years) hahaha I'll diet. hwahahaha..

wadeva

Cleanin' Out My Closet

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against.
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes.
Look at the times. Sick is the mind of the motha fuckin' kid that's behind
All this commotion. Emotions run deep as ocean's explodin.'
Tempers flaring from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin.'
Not takin' nothin' from no one, give 'em hell long as I'm breathin.'
Keep kickin' ass in the mornin,' an' takin' names in the evening.
Leave em with a taste as sour as vinegar in their mouth.
See, they can trigger me but they never figure me out.
Look at me now, I bet ya probably sick of me now.
Ain't you mama, I will make you look so ridiculous now.

Chorus 2X
I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet.
I said I'm sorry , mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet


I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it.
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it,
I'm expose it. I'll take you back to 73 before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin' CD.
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months.
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch,
cuz he split. I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye.
No, I don't on second thought, I just fuckin' wished he would die.
I look at Hailie and I couldn't picture leavin' her side.
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake.
I maybe made some mistakes but I'm only human. But I'm man enough to face them today.
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb, but the smartest shit I did was take them bullets out of that gun.
Cuz i'd killed 'em, shit I would have shot Kim an' him both.
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to The Eminem Show.

Chorus 2X

Now I would never dis my own mama just to get recognition.
Take a second to listen for you think this record is dissin,'
But put yourself in my position.
Just try to envision witnessin' your Mama poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen,
bitchin' that someone's always goin' through her purse and shits missin.'
Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchausen's syndrome.
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't 'til I grew up, now I blew up.
It makes you sick to ya stomach, doesn't it?
Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me, Ma? So you could try to justify the way you treated me, Ma?
But guess what, yer gettin' older now and it's cold when your lonely.
And Nathan's getting' up so quick, he's gonna know that your phoney.
And Hailie's getting' so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful.
But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral.
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong.
Bitch, do ya song. Keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom.
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get.
You selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell for this shit.
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well, guess what, I am dead. Dead to you as can be.

Chorus 4X

hehe.. wanted to add something sweet the other day...? Yar.. here it is...

Well, darz got me a 6510 fer our first month's annivesary... actually it's not meant to be like that. I wanted to pay her back the $$ one.. but she said nvm.. take it as a gift fer our first month. Wah.. i was like... DUN WAN LAH.. but she still insisted. Heehee...
Well, I dunno ler... Maybe I'll get something nice fer her these few days perhaps?

ARGH! something got into my eye!!!

mwah hahahaha

MASHED TATERS
Ingredients:

8 medium to large potatoes
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 stick of butter (or margarine if you MUST!)
1/2 cup of mayonnaise or sour cream (you can use FAT FREE sour cream and STILL have a great dish)

Peel the taters and boil them until they are soft (usually takes about 15 minutes tops) Drain the taters in a colander and return immediately to the pot you boiled them in. Add the ingredients and mash away. If you like them fluffy, whip them on medium speed with a hand mixer ... but plain ol' lumpy taters will let your guests know that they are HOMEMADE and not the nasty instant kind.

Well, had a squabble with my mum on Sunday night. Over the issue that I was coming home very late at night. Can't she just take it easy and slow and realise the the 20 in my age now. Okay.. i know she's worrying bout my safety and all. But what she is most afraid is the fact that she might be suspecting that I'm les... And she's a damn bad anti les paranoid. So she was like... "who's all these friends you're hanging out with", "How do I know if they're not les" Haiya... what can I do? I'm a gal with a special gender preference and you can't change it...

Aaargh!

add something sweet later. :) Going to get my IC now.;

how ironic can this get... When I want werk.. there's no werk... and when i dun want werk.. there's werk! argh!
Well, didnt really done anything today.. went out.. got some stuff, to prepare sandwich to bring to Sentosa tomorrow.. yeah! going suntan again tomorrow!!! I love tanning myself up.

Then did lil update on my webbie... added a few wallpapers here and there... wanted to get a lyric section done up.. but kinda left my HTML book over at Leo's... plus another HMTL books over at Tenz'. So.. I'm like totally lost without some guidelines to use. (I'm not a web masterlike it was said inthe quiz i took anyways) Sigh. Left so many stuff over at Leo's.. My badminton racket, my VCDs, my book.. what else... fergot liaoz. And left a few stuff with tenz... my book... my cd rom and my treasured feather pendant. Sigh...

Now I'm repeating the same track of songs over and over again. Eminem - Cleanin' out my closet. like that song. Lyrics kinda cool also.

Sianzzzzz.. Havent seen my dear fer like how many days....wednesday. thursday... 2 daes.. yar.. it's long enough. Stupid sea wind blowing into my hair...making my hair all sticky. Bleahz