I damn fed up..
I'm fed up with werk..
I'm fed up with my life..
I'm fed up with the timings of my werk.
I'm fed up with all the things happening.
I'm fed up with last minute decisions.

I don't want to live two seperate lives with the other half of my soul.
I hate all these.
I wished I could just quit this job.
I wish I could just stay beside her always.
I wish she wouldn't be so fed up with my werk.
I wish she hadn't said the things she said.
I wish I havent had cried.
I wish.... That life would be easier.
I wished this hadnt happened.

I would sacrifice anything.... Just to see her happy....

hmmm.. werk's okay.. was doing tempura myself today.. all the frying.. seasoning.. blah blah blah... Finally feels the pressure of having a executive chef stand beside you to guide you... ahahahaha... Damn pressure.

i hate to see her like that. drinking beer and puking.... i cant take this!!! God! Help me.... I'm so sad.... i'm so helpless

Woke up late this morning. Is supposed to wake up at 10, but I woke up at 11... Had a normal dae. Not much things to do. Also nothing to pretend to do ler. Time passed very slowly todae. Didn't do much. Just sit around look at stock order list.

Well, I'm beginning to think... whether it's right to take up this job... I mean I dunno. I won't have enough time to spend with dar|in. And I guess she's fed up too. I dunnno...I really dunno if this job is right.. though I like to handle food and stuff. But the time is like out of range... out of the normal times when I can spend time with dar|in.... And I can't really sms her while I werk becos I have to wash up some stuff, cut stuff.. my hands would be filthy and all. I tried to sms dar|in whenever I can... But I guess it's just not enough. It's really like only a lil percentage of how I used to sms dar|in and stuff...

I lost all mood to do anything... I stood there at my station and stared.... I'm just trying to hold back my tears.. I cannot cry at werk...
I kept to myself. Wee, Cindy and Melvin all ask me why I look so sian... I just dun wanna takl about it... afriad that tears might just roll down my cheek....

She smsed me todae... that she won't be coming down to my place to look for me anymore, becoz she dun like the place I'm werking at and she hates the company I'm werking for.... And I suggested that I would go down to look for her instead. But she replied don't waste money on cab. save it to get the things I want...

I've got nothing to get... I was hoping to get her a phone for our one year anniversary. There's nothing else I wanna get. And maybe to save up enough to go on a trip with her...

She didn't talk to me much todae... Met up at parkway.. and as usual.. I was late. I left werk exactly at 8pm.. but I ended up at parkway around 8.20pm (according to my watch). Didn't talk much. Went to the pet shop and did ended up talking a lil... But after that... silence again. Went to play pool... did end up talking but again silence. Went up the bus.. didn't talk at all.

Having gastric pains now..

Where is the Love

What's wrong with the world mama?
People livin like they ain't got no mama.
I think the whole world addicted to the drama,
Only attracted to the things that'll bring ya trauma.
Overseas ya we tryin to stop terrorism,
But we still got terrorists here livin in th USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and the Kripts and the KKK.
But if ya only have love for your own race,
Then ya only leave space to discrminate
And to discriminate only generates hate,
And when you hate your bound to get irate yea.
Madness is what you demonstrate, and thats exactly how anger works and operates
Man you gotta have love just to set it straight.
Take control of your mind and meditate,
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all y'all

Chorus:(Justin Timberlake)
People killin people dyin,
Children hurt and ya hear them cryin,
Can you practice what you preach?
And don't you turn the other cheek

Father Father Father help us,
Send some guidance from above,
Cuz people got me got me questionin'

Where is the love?(love, the love)
Where is the love? (the love)
Where is the love ?(the love)
Where is the love the love the love?

It just aint the same, always new change
New days are strange, is the world insane?
If love and peace is so stronge,
Why are there pieces if love that don't belong?
Nations droppin bombs chemical gases fillin lungs of lil ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young.
So ask yourself is the lovin really gone?
So I could ask myself really what is goin wrong
In this world that we livin in,people keep on givin in
Makin wrong decisions only visions of the vivid ends.
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin on but the reason is under cover,
The truth is kept secret, its swept under the rug,
If you never know truth then you never know love.
Where's the love y'all? C'mon (I don' know)
Where's the truth y'all? C'mon (I don' know)
Where's the love y'all?

Repeat Chorus

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder,
As I'm gettin' older y'all people gets colder.
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information alwayz shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria.
Infectin the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema.
Yo, whatever happened to the values of humanity?
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality?
Instead in spreadin love we spreadin' animosity,
Lack of understandin leading lives away from unity,
Thats the reason why sometimes i'm feelin' under,
Thats the reason why sometimes i'm feelin' down,
Theres no wonder why somtimes i'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found!

Repeat Chorus

~~ FADEOUT ~~

Reached home about 0000hours today. Had an OFF day todae to pei dar|in. Decided to cook something for her. Pasta Carbonara, coz she likes cream base pasta. But the thing turned out... erm.... not very nice to look at. hhahah. Anyways, had a great day todae, shopping for groceries and cooking. hehehe.

Gonna go print out some stuff... Time for werk tomorrow again.

Just came back from werk at 2345hours... Supposed to go to Dar|in's house de.. budden... last minute got werk to do. So end up didnt go. I think Dar|in was worried about me... she got angry. I just hope that she would be fine soon.

Werk today's fine, cept for the last minute satay thingey that the bastard Sebastian wants for Mahalo. I'm so tired. Todae's werk basically is just washing up the plates, then laze around.. see boss come, get up, pretend busy... (learning), Rahim got called upstairs to mop the Disco... lucky me and cindy pretending to be busy washing cutlery... Then dinner time.. had nasi padang again (damn fattening).. anyways, was eating halfway when Daniel walked up to us at the table and said that one of us have to werk until 3am in the morning, have to do satay for Mahalo. Then I lost my appetite, felt like puking ()... Anyways, followed Ah Wee to City Satay to buy Satay.. in the end the shop close ler. Then we decided to go parkway NTUC buy, before that, Ah Wee say, "haiya, we go drink koip first lar... Take our time".. So went to have tea.. then went to the market instead to get the stuff.... Dilly dally until about 2130 then go off from Parkway... Reach the rest. about 2145hours... Stayed until 2330hours coz me waiting for Wee to fetch me to top up my EZlink and then bring me home (He's a damn good boss, really!) yeah... was helping Cindy out with the satay... accidently spilled hot oil on my leg, now got one blister on my calf and a red patch on my ankle.

So yeah.... came home.... called dar|in up... didn't speak much throughout... Guess she's too angry to talk to me...

Am having a pain on my right wrist... think I carried the tray too heavy ler... kinda over exerted the force.... Gotta stop ler.. Have to wake up rather early tomorrow to do some Excel...

Whoooo Hoooo...
Kinda find this icon so cute!

Time: 0054hours

Just put down the phone with dar|in...

Todae's entry will be something about werk...

Woke up at 1030hours to a cool and "oh-so-nice-to-sleep" weather. It's been raining since 8pluz in the morning. Washed up and stuff, and saw that the rain has gonez. Went down. Dao bao "forest" rice to eat at the Chef's Kitchen (My werkplace)... Who knows reach parkway time.. the rain came back and was kinda heavy. So I wore my cap and walked in the rain...

Reach werkplace, ate then start werk ler.. Didn't do much todae... Took out lotsa plates and bowls to wash. Then after washing, wrap it up in Glad Wrap... Well, todae, Ah Wee and Rahim went out to source for second hand stuff.. (The Company damn poor to get new items) Bill was with us... While we're cleaning the plates and stuff, he came to help at first... Came and help us put the plates into tray to drain off the excess water. But after a while, he disappeared again () Yah, so WTF... we do all the werk, clean up the place, wipe here wipe there. Take frozen honey dew to eat....

Around 1830hours, Bill volunteered to go buy food. So off he go... taking his own sweet time to come back... we were kinda really nothing to do ler. So me and Melvin sat down to read newspaper, while Cindy sat down to smoke. Then who knows the Damn Director ( points middle finger) go and complain to Ah Wee the moment he came back. Damn fucked up. So kenna scolded by Wee loh. Wee angry time so scary de. Anyways, dunno why lah.. but Wee was telling Bill "You as a supervisor, what are you doing? The boss asking me what my men is doing... how am I gonna answer for that? Then Bill was like keep stressing on the point that he went out to buy food lah, this and that. Wee got fed up and said "You don't give me all these excuses, I would understand your position but will the boss understand or not?" in a loud tone loh. Then Bill DL, slam the table.. then things happen one after another, which in the end led to Wee saying " You dun like my tone, you take it or leave it, just give me 24hours notice and leave the place." Bill was so fed up that he said "fine!" then he walked off. I guess, when talking to the boss, you dun slam your hand on the table de loh. So rude de. Anyways, Wee scold me for reading newspaper ()I also quiet quiet let him say what he wanna say then just listen, next time pretend to be busy (But damn hard to pretend loh). Anyways, I don't really like Bill also, so

Sigh, dunno lah.. These few daes so sianz one.

Right... since we're talking about Fridae the Thirteenth......

Well, woke up, went to werk.. while alighting from the bus... I fell... missed the kerb and I "plonk" down and grazed my leg. Duh! My shoe came off too. Damn paiseh
Then went werk time,.... kenna pissed by the supervisor. FUCK HIM
Well, the thing is... he wanted us to carry some trash to dump. And the thing is.... THE TRASH CAN IS NOT OURS! it's big splash de.. Then he so kpo for what. Then he himself already cannot carry himself.. still ask me and cindy carry and throw. Siaoz. Think we muscle man ah. Anyways, me and cindy say we neh eat dinner... hungry.. no energy. Idiot.. then before that... as few days before.. me and melvin carrying some damn heavy cupboards then he said.."I scared sun, you two carry" and ran into the shade. FUCK RIGHT? Scared sun dun come werk la. So hard for what. idiot idiot idiot

Yesdae, finally prepared food and stuff at werk.. or else I'm like part time bangla at werk. Got tanned up and stuff... Did tempura.. though only learning. but ok la... was busy....

Hahaha... Try this IQ TEST!
I've only got 4 correct... sob sob

Artist : Uncle Kracker
Song : Drift Away

Day after day I'm more confused
But I look for the light through the pourin' rain
You know, that's a game, that I hate to loose
I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame

CHORUS:
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and DRIFT AWAY
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and DRIFT AWAY

Won't you take me away

Beginin' to think, that I'm wastin' time
And I don't understand the things I do
The world outside looks so unkind
I'm countin' on you, you can carry me through

CHORUS

And when my mind is free
You know your melody can move me
And when I'm feelin' blue
The guitars come through to soothe me

Thanks for the joy you've given me
I want you to know I believe in your song
And rhythm, and rhyme, and harmony
You helped me along, you're makin' me strong

CHORUS2

oh.. she just replied.. she says she's fine...

Hmmm, started werk todae... Nothing much, just like an odd job labourer like that... carry tables and chairs.. washing them... blah blah blah... Super hot. Can get a tan one. haha .Werk from 1.15pm liddat to 8pm.. Mama came visit me with her sis... looks like from the same mould.. same eyebrow.. same eyes.. hahah.

Anyways, dar|in came to pick me up from werk todae too. Taught her the underpass way to my werking place. Then we went parkway for coffee at Pacific Coffee.... After that went NTUC get some grocery..

Dunno what;s wrong with dar|in todae... abit moody... She says she's tired.... but it seems like something else. I dunno.... Sigh... Just upset to see her like that. I dunno. I sms her she also neh reply.. did she fall asleep on the bus or what?

Alright..... Woke up at about 11am today... (surprisingly) and went down to Parkway to send my phone to the hospital, it got crippled. The number 0 and 8 button no reaction... sent in about 12... thought can finish in an hour... coz I have to meet darlin at 2pm. Who knows.. the lady say... "no lah, where got so fast one? Upgrade software, yes... one hour.. but repair phone needs minimum 4 hours" And I went like "oh shit, but I'm supposed to meet darlin at 2pm.. now I'm gonna get stuck at parkways til 4pm!!!!" in my heart.

Sigh, I was like so dunno what to do loh.. hhahaha... In the end I told dar|in about it... and she agreed to come down to meet me instead.

She came down time.. I was like... "whoa!!!! She looks so different todae. She looks so beautiful" That's because she came down in a gray shirt and dark color pants that looked so nice on her loh. Whoa! Drooling.... It kinda reminded the second time I went for a movie with her at suntec when she's wearing this big floppy gray shirt that also made me go "whoa!" hehehe. Anyways, collected my phone, talked with the lady at nokia and she forward me one wallpaper with her 3650. That phone damn shiok loh. Can play mp3 de. And can use as ringtone!!!! So nice. Right, after that, we went down to bugis... actually wanted to take photo card de. In the end we caught a movie also. "Agent Cody Banks" hehehe.. Cute show. Especially when cody went "er.... er..... ya... I was.. er....." to a girl. Hahah.
Well, took our photo card too.

Oh ya.. dar|in made a comment before we went in to watch movie.. while we're going up the escalator to the cinema, dar|in suddely said, she had the feeling to go get a ear stud on the ear (the upper part) hahah.. I was like izzit? Lets go down far east later to get it donez loh.. Then dar|in was saying, "you go get your naval peirced too lah"

My first reaction is.. "Cannot lah.. haven't xin li jun bei" hahaha... anyways, after the movie we did head down to Far East. But dar|in kinda 'feeling gonez' so I dare her to get it done. hahaha. In the end... I had my naval pierced, and she had her ear pierced too..

Met Chui Yong and jasmine for coffee after that.. Wanted to catch "ju on" de.. but all sold out.. Sickening. So we headed down to Gloria Jean for coffee... then went for Satay at LPS. And made our way down to water bar... I think Saturdae night is AJ Night. Coz we go in.. all like guys.. and some damn AJ loh. Then in the end.. we ended up in the cheap KTV at chinatown. Sung till 3am again... Hahaha.

Then head home. Think Dar|in should be concussed by now la.. hahaha.

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Which OS are You?

The result for the What's Your Personality Type Quiz I took earlier.

Result, Click Here

WHICH PUCCA STYLE ARE YOU? Take the quiz! Brought to you by Lovepucca.net! and Puccafan.com!

Who's your Pucca Character? Take the quiz! Brought to you by Lovepucca.net!

CUTE CUTE CUTE! Did i mention I have an PUCCA alarm clock that's all red?? Hahahahah

Sean Hayes, your too anoyyed by his character on
will & grace


What annoying Celebrity would you most likely wanna kill?
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whatever that is.. I don't know

You are a Lava Lamp.


What Fruity Object Are You?
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Scary in a very good way, you're Fairuza Balk.
Intense.


What sexy girl are you
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Whoa! I like this girl, dude! Acted in this Witch Craft Movie. Cool gal!

FLAT


(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
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FARK!

Hazel Eyes


What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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You should be the Ram, Gentle and docile, the Ram
is sincere and kind-hearted. As a pacifist,
they are never one to question authority. The
Ram is rather timid, preferring anonymity over
fame. Fueled by compassion, they admire all of
nature's beauty. Rams strive to create a secure
and tranquil environment. Your allies are
Rabbits, Horses, and Boars. Your enemy is Ox.


~¢¾What is your TRUE Chinese Zodiac sign?¢¾~
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You should be a Libra, your generous, realistic,
and charming, but you can be dependent,
distant, and materialistic.


~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~(WITH NEW PIC'S!!!)
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Your Heart is Grey


What Color is Your Heart?
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I'm GRAY.... very GAY

You're An Inu (Dog)!
Loyal and protective. A true friend all the way.
You love having yours ears scratched, and being
near your loved ones.


What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
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Huh? I'm a bitch????

Tuesdae
Sleep late the night before.. so woke up around 11 plus, 12 liddat. Dar|in called me to wake me up, wahed up, changed, made my way down to Dar|in's place by cab. this cab driver, very old ah pek, keep talking to me in Hokkien, so I have to reply him loh. Told dar|in about it, she only say "you can make it or not?" hahaha. well, I sure did. Ah Pek can understand can ler... well, reached her house, still feeling very sleepy, maybe it's because of the flu tab that I took b4 I went out. Then feeling rather sleepy. Reached her house, gave her her prezzie, then online. (I'm getting super lazy here) Then dar|in told me, we'll most prolly be meeting Vanessa. So went meet her at HMV, had Marche, then played pool.

We're then supposed to meet Mama and Ting at Bugis at 6.30. We were at the bus stop at 6.. waited till 6.25, the bus still havent come. I'm like so hot and sweaty ler. In the end dar|in suggested take the MRT down faster. While walking over to Somerset, passed by Centre Point, kenna pissed off by this damn big sized ang moh guy eating his sundae. There's this pillar just right beside me on the left and dar|in's on my right. This damn ang moh cut across my path and tried to squeeze past me on my left and gaev me one big bump then even darlin got pushed off abit. I'm like kept walking loh.. Just fark it liddat loh. Then dar|in turned back and saw the ang moh looking at at us, damn pissed.. Dar|in told me the ang moh looked at me with that kinda "WTF" look. then I lost it.. I kinda shouted at dar|in "And what am I supposed to do?!" Sigh.. dunno what's wrong with me todae. So easy loose my temper. Shit! Sigh...

SORRY DARLIN!

Met Ting and Ma, went over to Shaw Center to eat, then watched Findin' Nemo. It's a cute show, dude! I like that turtle, Crush and his son, Squirt. So cute they both! Heehee.

After the show, went down to the esplanade. mama wanetd to go centro see chris, then fly wantedto go Embargo to find Van... Went in eventually for a drink. Van treated Dar|in to a Liquid XTC, a very "chap pah lang" drink. Then had fries... then went back..

*yawnz*

paisay, cannot write anymore.. Everything also cute short. Tired ler. I wanna go sleep ler!

Right.... fark!

I wrote one big chunk of blog and then I dunno press what on my keyboard and i closed the window! ARGH!!!!! Now have to re-write again!

yah. i was saying, my phone line was down the day before.. so I can't blog whatever that's happened on that dae. So here I am, blogging something that's 2 daes old.

Mondae
Was s'posed to meet up wid Joyce to go marina/suntec to just walk around til 1930hrs. Well, did meet her up at bout 1415hours at Cityhall. Went upstairs Starbucks to find her. Then I saw these 2 Aussie guys performin' outside Starbucks. One of em is playing the electric guitar and the other one yielding a pair of drum sticks... but not for hitting on drums yar.. haha.. the guys hits things like plastic dustbins, ladders, pots and pans, tin cups, railings, walls. Yeah.. things like that. It turned out pretty good. Simply excellent. Me and Joyce was saying "I think this guy does that all the time back home. Everywhere he goes, he hit"

Anyways, turned hungry, I suggested Marina. Went over, ordered food, sat down... and... my phone rang~
my boss asked me down to ecp. I was thinking maybe he wanted to get the uniforms ready. but... went down got bad news. My werk's gonna get delayed again.Coz the damn place havent even finished building. Sigh. Sianz man. So broke ler. Stayed there for a coupla hours, then head back to suntec to met joyce, since she's still there.

Yeap, reached the place around 6 plus, then went shop in Carrefour for a while, then at about 1915hrs, she went home, then I walked back to meet Dar|in at cityhall at 1930hrs. Before that I was smsing Ting round 1800plus coz mama say wanna meet. So smsed, smsed, then thought of since everyone (andrea, mama, ting, ashburn) is all meeting, so I kinda suggested to celebrate Dar|in's birthdae on Mondae instead. Then ting told me mama also suggested the same thing too. So was "okay, I'll te|| fly then will meet you there". Met fly, told her that ting meeting us at Orchard in the most ordinary and normal way ever without spilling the beans. And we made our way there.

Reached Taka, then was sposed to meet at fountain there, then ting ask if I could secretly walk over to Miss Selfrige, and tell fly I going toilet. Haiyo! Bad move! I guess that made Dar|in suspect abit on why I was behaving so weird suddenly. hahaha. Well, dar|in wanna go to toilet with me.. so off we go.. then halfway through, cookie called me... say they already lighted the candle and ask us to come to Miss Selfrige right away. haha. I was like pulling dar|in along. Saying that something happened, must walk faster. I think she didnt believe me leh.. hahaha.

Then... *quoted* "we made poor mate stand outside Miss Selfrige at taka, holding the birthday cake and we croaked a loud birthday song. (so unglam!) headed to far east for dinner and went play pool. wanted to go philippino hill to eat the cake but ended up somewhere at orchard mrt station." yah.. Hahaha.. Save me typing. yup, so we ate the cake.. talked abit and then left.

You are an Elementalist. Your magic stems from the
forces of nature. You might be a forest
nuturing Druid, a storm-creating Weather-Wizard
or any of the many Elementals, but one thing is
sure-- your bond with nature is strong. You can
rely heavily on nature to support yourself
aesthetically or physically for it lends you
both comfort and strength. Your instincts
rarely fail you. You are vibrantly passionate
but are sometimes carried away by your own
emotions.


Which Magical Order Are You In?
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Rightey.. just came home from Fly's house. Stayed over last night.
Let me think.... Yesday was Saturdae... what did I do on Saturdae???? Okok...

Me and Fly went to cut hair... at Tampines at 11am in the morning. Storm... hehehe... Well, at least this time she didnt leave with a been-out-of-a-storm look. hahaha. means her hair wasnt really changed.. just shortened. hahaha. or else she'll kill me man!
Then joyce came along... to return me my CDs... I thought i only lend her 2 Cds.. in the end she brought 3... Two Savage garden cd and one ronan keating one.... i dun even remember having the Ronan cd. hahha. anyways, accompanied her to bugis to see her bag which she didnt buy in the end... In the end, it's me who got a gift box and strings and a few colored paper... wanted to do something Ting suggested.. but I dunno if I can make it man.. hhahaha. right, then we had to go back.. coz fly's leg aint feeling very well, plus she LNG.

Then went over to her house.. fell asleep there. then she has to go MS, coz her friends organised a birthday gathering. so I accompanied her there coz she dunno how to get there. In the end,... walk halfway her friends wheezed by in a taxi and carried her away.. hahaha. Yah.. so I went home feeling a lil down.. coz I'm worried her friends might make her drink and drink then later she cannot get home in one piece. Bought a can of jap beer, Asahi, finished half a can. it's the smoothest beer i've drank so far. goes down your throat so ever smoothly you wont think it's beer. haha. Anyways.. I got home.. and then stone abit.. then fly smsed me... and ask if i can join her. (darlin, if you're reading this, I've cut short a few thing.. lazy to type out the details anyways. hahahah) then I went down after leaving a note for my mum and smsed my cousin to tell him. just in case that bastard chained me out of the house again. Right.. caught the last bus 32 and down I went.

Went over to O Bar (somewhere near Dbl O), joined darlin and her friends. Only one intro-ed herself to me and that's Yingying.. the rest ah... erm.. only know one is cookie.. then julez and xenia was there. Then Edwin right? Then jack. Then got the Amore girl and another girl and a maroon colored shirt guy. is that all?? I think.. then after that one botak guy cam.. so cute de. fly and xenia kept touching his head.. hahaha anyways, had three shots of tequila with dear. a glass of beer.. and I'm feeling 'oh-not-so-well'. Had the feeling to puke but I'm not drunk yet. Just wanna puke everything out. Yeap. (any other details please jump over to fly's blog!)

Stayed until the bar closes at 3am. Everyone just started hugging each other goodbye outside. hahah. cookie the best. "eh, your friend what name ah? oh.... wynne ah" then she just turned over and hugged me goodbye.. ahah. mad mad mad. One of fly's friend came in latest, Farah, if I'm not mistaken. she's one cute malay bung. haha. Yeah.. so everyone left la.. share cab one share, those going to eat one eat. Then me crashed over at fly's place.